How to write wedding vows: a simple structure, tips and 15 wedding vow examples

Wedding vows are the only part of your wedding that's entirely yours: no planner, no florist, no playlist. That's exactly why they feel so hard to write. The good news is that great vows follow a simple shape, and you don't need to be a writer to fill it. Here's how to write wedding vows step by step, how long they should be, what to avoid, and 15 wedding vow examples you can learn from.

Traditional vs personal wedding vows

Traditional vows are the familiar words many ceremonies share, the promises to have and to hold, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Some churches require them; check with your officiant before you write anything. Many couples combine the two: they say traditional vows during the ceremony and read personal ones just before, or share their personal vows privately at a first look.

How to write wedding vows: a 5-step structure

1. Brainstorm before you write. Answer a few questions on paper: when did you know? What does your partner do that nobody else notices? What has changed in you since you met? What are you looking forward to?
2. Open with who they are to you. One or two sentences: “You're the calmest person in every room and the first person I want to tell everything.”
3. Tell one small story. Not your whole relationship, just one moment that shows why you're here: the first date, a hard week they got you through, a silly ritual.
4. Make your promises. Three to five, a mix of serious and light. Be concrete: “I promise to listen even when I want to fix it” is stronger than “I promise to always be there.”
5. Close with a strong final line. Something simple you'll say looking at them: “I choose you, today and every day after.”

How long should wedding vows be?

One to two minutes spoken out loud, which is about 150 to 250 words. Longer than three minutes and guests start shifting in their seats, however beautiful the words. The more important rule: agree on a rough length with your partner, so one of you doesn't read a page while the other says four lines. You can keep the content secret and still agree on the word count.

Tips for writing your vows

• Start at least a month before the wedding. Vows written the night before sound like it.
• Write the way you talk. If you'd never say “thou art my everything” at dinner, don't say it at the altar.
• Use their name at least once. It instantly makes the words theirs.
• Inside jokes are fine, but only if the guests can follow them. One short explanation is enough.
• Don't mention exes, past relationships or anything your partner wouldn't want their grandmother to hear.
• Read them out loud several times. You'll find the sentences that are too long to say in one breath.
• Print a clean copy on a nice card or in a small vow book. Reading from a phone breaks the moment.
• Pause and look up. Nobody minds if you cry; it's the best part.

15 wedding vow examples

Use these as inspiration, not as a script: the best vows have a detail only you could write. Swap the names, the memories and the promises for your own.

Short wedding vows

1. Sam, you are my best friend, my calm and my home. I promise to laugh with you, to be patient with you and to choose you every day, especially the difficult ones. Everything I am is yours.
2. I didn't know what I was looking for until I found you. Today I promise to love you honestly, to support your dreams like they're my own, and to keep holding your hand through whatever comes next.
3. From our first coffee to this moment, you've made every day better. I promise to keep making you coffee, to keep making you laugh, and to keep loving you, for the rest of my life.

Emotional wedding vows

1. Anna, three years ago, on the worst week of my life, you sat on the floor of my kitchen and said, “We'll figure it out.” You didn't fix anything. You just stayed. That's when I knew. Today I promise you the same: to stay. To sit on kitchen floors with you, to celebrate the good days loudly and carry the hard ones together. I promise to tell you the truth, even when it's uncomfortable, and to listen when you tell me yours. I promise to never stop being curious about who you're becoming. You are the bravest, kindest person I know, and I can't believe I get to call you my wife.
2. Before you, I thought love was something big and dramatic. You taught me it's the light you leave on when I'm late, the scarf you put in my bag when it's going to rain, the way you say my name when you're half asleep. I promise to notice these things every day and never take them for granted. I promise to be your safe place, as you have been mine. And I promise that whatever life brings us, you will never face it alone.
3. I've loved you in three cities, two jobs and one very small apartment. I've loved you on good days and on days we didn't like each other very much. And every single time, I chose you again. Today I'm making it official: I choose you. I promise to keep choosing you when it's easy and when it isn't, to grow with you instead of apart, and to build a life where we both feel free and at home.

Funny wedding vows

1. Jordan, I promise to love you, honor you and always let you have the window seat. I promise to pretend your playlist is good on long drives, to never watch the next episode without you, and to tell you when there's spinach in your teeth. Most of all, I promise to laugh with you every day, because nobody makes me laugh like you do.
2. When we met, you told me you were “pretty good” at cooking. That was a lie. But I married you anyway, because you're very good at everything that matters: kindness, loyalty and finding the best pizza in any city. I promise to do the cooking, to share my fries without complaining, and to love you more than I love sleeping in, which, as you know, is a lot.
3. I promise to love you in sickness and in health, even when you have a cold and act like it's the end of the world. I promise to keep your coffee hot, your feet warm and your secrets safe. And I promise to never, ever tell anyone how many times you cried during this ceremony. Oops.

Religious wedding vows

1. Before God and the people we love, I take you as my wife. I thank God for bringing you into my life and I promise to love you as He loves us: patiently, faithfully and without conditions. I will pray with you and for you, I will honor you in my words and my actions, and I will walk beside you in faith all the days of my life.
2. Daniel, I believe God placed you on my path for a reason. Today I promise to build our home on faith, to forgive as we have been forgiven, and to love you with a love that is patient and kind. Whatever He has planned for us, I will face it with you, hand in hand.

Wedding vows for him

1. Matt, you are the steadiest person I've ever known. You make me braver without ever pushing, and you make me feel at home anywhere, as long as you're there. I promise to be your partner in everything, to cheer for you louder than anyone, to remind you to rest, and to keep loving the man you are and the man you're becoming. I'm so proud to be your wife.

Wedding vows for her

1. Emily, you walked into my life and turned the lights on. You notice everything, you remember everyone's birthday and you still look at me like I'm worth the trouble. I promise to be worthy of that look. I promise to listen more than I talk, to support every crazy plan you come up with, and to hold you a little longer every time you need it. You are my favorite person, today and always.

Vow renewal examples

1. Twenty years ago, I promised to love you for better or for worse. We've had plenty of both, and here's what I've learned: the better was better because of you, and the worse was bearable because of you. Today I make the same promise, with a lot more gray hair and a lot more certainty. I'd marry you again tomorrow, and the day after, and every day after that.
2. When we first got married, we had no idea what we were promising. Now we know: sleepless nights, three moves, a hundred birthdays, one hard year and thousands of ordinary, happy mornings. I wouldn't change any of it. I promise you the next chapter: more patience, more adventures and more mornings, together.

Mistakes to avoid

• Making it too long. Three minutes feels like ten when everyone is standing.
• Too many inside jokes, or a roast. Vows are not a best man's speech.
• Promises you can't keep (“I'll never be in a bad mood”). Keep them honest.
• Comparing your love to other couples or mentioning past relationships.
• Not practicing. The first time you read them aloud shouldn't be at the altar.

After the vows: invitations and keepsakes

If you're still planning, start with the guest list and the invitation: our wedding invitation wording guide has 50 examples, and a digital wedding invitation lets guests reply in one tap. After the wedding, many couples keep their vows, photos and the story of the day on a wedding story website.