RSVP meaning: what it stands for, how to reply politely and RSVP etiquette

You've received an invitation and at the bottom it says “RSVP by May 15”. The RSVP meaning is simple: RSVP stands for the French phrase “répondez s'il vous plaît”, which means “please reply”. The host is asking you to tell them whether you'll come, so they can plan food, seats and everything else. Here's how to RSVP politely, what the variations mean, and the etiquette for both guests and hosts.

What does RSVP mean?

RSVP is an abbreviation of “répondez s'il vous plaît” (pronounced ray-pon-day seel voo pleh), French for “please respond”. The expression comes from French court etiquette, which was adopted by polite society in England and America, and it stuck. Today it's used on wedding invitations, birthday parties, business events and even casual dinners. You can write it as RSVP, R.S.V.P. or R.s.v.p.; all are correct.

Because RSVP already means “please reply”, “please RSVP” is technically redundant, but it's so common that nobody will mind. As a verb, “to RSVP” simply means to reply to an invitation.

RSVP variations and what they mean

How to RSVP yes

Use the method the invitation asks for: a reply card, a website, a form, a phone number or a message. Answer promptly, ideally within a few days, and include any information the host asks for, such as the number of guests, meal choices or allergies.

• Formal reply card: “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith accept with pleasure the kind invitation for Saturday, the twelfth of June.”
• Simple reply card: “John and Mary Smith joyfully accept. Meal: chicken and fish.”
• Message: “Hi Emily! We'd love to come to your wedding on June 12. That's 2 of us, and no allergies. Can't wait!”
• Birthday party: “Count us in for Saturday! It'll be the two of us. Anything we can bring?”
• Work event: “Thank you for the invitation. I'm pleased to confirm I'll attend the dinner on March 3.”

How to RSVP no politely

Declining is fine; not replying isn't. Thank the host, say you can't come, and wish them well. You don't owe a detailed explanation.

• Formal reply card: “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith regretfully decline.”
• Message: “Thank you so much for the invitation. Unfortunately we can't make it on June 12, but we'll be thinking of you and celebrating from afar.”
• Friend's party: “I'm so sorry, I'm away that weekend. Have the best birthday, let's celebrate when I'm back!”
• Work event: “Thank you for the kind invitation. Unfortunately I have a prior commitment, but I hope it's a great evening.”

RSVP etiquette for guests

• Reply by the deadline, and earlier if you can. Hosts often have to give final numbers to a caterer.
• Reply even if the answer is no, unless the invitation says “regrets only”.
• Only bring the people named on the invitation. If it says “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, the kids aren't invited.
• Don't ask for a plus-one unless the invitation offers one. If you're in a long-term relationship and your partner was left off, a polite question is acceptable; a demand isn't.
• Mention allergies and dietary needs when you reply, not on the day.
• If your plans change after saying yes, tell the host as soon as possible. A last-minute no-show at a seated wedding costs the couple money.
• Don't change a no into a yes after the deadline without asking first.

Plus-ones: who gets one

A plus-one is an extra guest you may bring. You have one only if the invitation says so: “Mr. John Smith and guest”, “John and Mary”, or a line like “We have reserved 2 seats in your honor.” Hosts usually offer plus-ones to married, engaged and long-term couples, and sometimes to guests who won't know anyone else. If the invitation is addressed only to you, reply for yourself only.

RSVP etiquette for hosts

• Set a clear deadline: 3 to 4 weeks before a wedding, 1 week before a party.
• Give one clear way to reply. Several channels (card, text, email, phone) lead to lost answers.
• Write exactly who is invited on the envelope or in the message, so there's no doubt about children and plus-ones.
• Ask for what you need: number of guests, meal choice, allergies.
• Follow up with guests who haven't replied a few days after the deadline. A friendly message works: “Hi! Just checking whether you'll be able to make it on June 12, we're finalizing numbers this week.”

RSVP deadline: how far in advance

For a wedding, the RSVP deadline is usually three to four weeks before the day. That leaves time to chase late replies, make the seating plan and confirm numbers with the venue. For a birthday or dinner party, one week before is enough. Here's the full timeline for a wedding.

When to send wedding invitations

Need the words for the invitation itself? See our wedding invitation wording examples, including save the date wording and RSVP lines.

How to collect RSVPs online

Paper reply cards still work, but they get lost, need stamps and arrive one by one. Most hosts now collect RSVPs online, in one of three ways:

1. A group chat or message replies: free and quick, but answers end up scattered and you'll count them by hand.
2. A form or spreadsheet: tidy, but guests have to open a separate link and the invitation lives somewhere else.
3. A digital invitation with an RSVP form: the invitation and the reply in one link, so guests read the details and answer in the same place.

Our digital wedding invitation works the third way. Each guest writes their name, accepts or declines, says how many they are and can add allergies or a note, without an app or an account. You see every reply and the totals in your account, and you can edit the invitation anytime without changing the link. It's free to create and preview, and publishing is one payment of €29, with unlimited replies. For a party, there's the digital birthday invitation.